HOUSTON, I AM THE PROBLEM

18.8.13

i paid for this girls chocolate bar and i did not receive a thank you

15.8.13

here we are. dying alone together

youre hours away. days if i drove. miles if i walked. i realize my pain is beautiful and i miss you even more. you are the only one who has ever truly loved me but i met you already. i still don't know who you really are. im blindly typing this in hopes to decode my soulmate. a soulmate is someone i can be with for the rest of my life. be myself for the rest of my life. why do we need this humanity? because we are human and we have a say in what we are and who we love is not by chance. i have met the partner of my dreams already. i don't know who you are though, and you will come to me on your terms. you know how i feel. you know how i long for you. IVE CHANGED. I've changed my life, have you? i feel better now. some makeup will do me good.. wine for breakfast made my eggs cold. never say never. I'm here for you when you're ready. with open arms, and an open heart. i see you. my eyes are open, are yours?

19.7.13

we are full but the fish are starving

my clock spews nonsense. i jump up to give her money, but I haven't been paid yet. mornings are like yogurt left at room temperature.

I'm not one to get attached to words, but this is a chance for release. she's worried about the paint on her nails and not what's underneath them. i wouldn't wish such a death on another creature.

i rub my eyes. there is something in this ice that's making me melt. I watch her soak up condensation with her sleeve. exceptions for most are accepted by some...

do you want another?

"yes! I will have a glass."

wine for breakfast, then some makeup will do her good. maybe I will get everything I've always wanted. the arthritis in my hands says hard work pays off.